Not paying attention can be painful

I got this picture from a pastors blog who lives in Seattle. His name is Scott Harris. It looks like everyone around this guy knew what was going on except him. Sometimes we will pay the penalty for not paying attention...


Mom - Dad... do you know what's going on in your kids life? Has life been to busy to find out what their world is all about? (The students will hate me for this, but parents here's a hint... take a spin through your kids Ipod, you may be surprised at what's there). I know you know this, but it's not my job to raise your kid. I'm tired of parents blaming the youth pastors for their kids going wayward - take some responsibility (not that that's happened to me :-). They may think your weird, but have you carved out some time for just you and them? (Hint: if you haven't done this in a long time... or at all, don't make it a drill session, just spend some time hanging out.) Here's a novel idea - just have FUN with your kids. When was the last time you did anything "fun" with your kids? No agenda, just fun. That will do a lot to build a relationship.

On the other hand I know parents who did the other extreme, they thought God called them to be their kids best friend... eehhh! Wrong! God calls us to bring our kids up in the admonition of the Lord. Show your kid you love them by getting into their world and laying down a few rules. don't just let them do whatever they want (that doesn't say, "I love you", it says, "I don't care about you"). One friend of mine growing up wished his parents cared enough to give him some rules like mine did. But remember this, rules without a relationship always brings rebellion.

"Why can't I connect with my kid??"

• Have you ever did anything just the two of you? (Well I have 3 kids! Ok, so it will take some time, any other excuses??)
• I work a lot! (Seriously? I hope none of us use that one)
• My kid wont listen to me (not true, 70% teens say the number one influence in their life is mom and dad)
• Have you ever done anything fun without an agenda? (no it's not a waste of time, it's a good investment)
• When was the last time you gave your kid a compliment?
• When was the last time you told (or better "showed") your kid that you love them (I know, it's tough. But you wouldn't want your kid wondering if you love them - some of them do!)

Just the other day I was talking with one of our students and they told me that their dad has rarely if ever told them, "good job." That's terrible, and if you knew them you would say that they were a "good" parent. To my knowledge, the same can be said about hearing "I love you". (again, no it's not understood that just because you have a parent, they love you. Kids need to hear it and be shown it).

Let me challenge you to be intentional about getting into your teenagers world. If we let too much time pass, and put it off, we can pay a painful penalty for not paying attention to the ones God has placed in our care.

I know I've never raised teenagers, but if you see a deficit in this area of your life, I'd be glad to talk with you about it & offer any help I can. - Kevin